HAPPY VALENTINES

today im not in london, not going on a date, not doing drugs and not getting my leg over. shame.

new durex commercial

THIS. IS. GENIUS.



xxx

The Damned Month

this week i decided to get up off my ass and start working out. i went to a spinning class which was great but at the same time so fucking tiring i got jelly legs. when i did get up off the damn thing i almost blacked out. apparently thats normal for someone that doesnt excersise. anyways i was left with aching thighs and a throbbing head. everytime i walked i got the wiggly leg, u know when one leg just bends outta the blue for a split second and u end up looking like a goof. anyways not a good look and totally catches u off guard!!! i cant remember the last time i worked out....because i absolutely hate it. its so mind numbing, i actually feel like my brain cells are slowly dying while my body moves in repetitive manner. i think for the first time in my life, i know what being dumb feels like.

anyways, i decided to jog on the hills today over looking the sea and while i was there, wind in my hair and everything, i just realised its february. and

february = valentine's day = bad luck in eman's world. 

so let me briefly explain that the month of feb is totally cursed. ive never spent it with anyone because:

1) they broke up with me in january ( fucking great timing!!) 

2) i seem to get together with men in march. 

seriously, those  have been my break up and hook up months for years. i dont know why. anyways so this year, just like any other year, the boy that i have a strange relationship with decides to ignore me in january and tell me that there's someone else in feb. im not upset or anything, theres a mutual understanding there. but anyways, the point is it happened in feb, the damned month. so while i was breaking a sweat and gasping for breath going up the hill, i realised that i have never been with anyone for a full year because of february. 

i think they should get rid of the month of doom. scrap it off the calender. its useless. its so fucking stupid it doesnt even know whether it should go on for 28 days or 29 days. what an idiot.

Crackbrained is actually a word...

Haven't slept since Saturday night night as I've been working on a freakin' article on a concept that I expect no one other than high grade economists and sociologists to comprehend - I feel like I have taken the most lethal crack ever due to all the coffee I have drunk and I think my head si going to explode. Regardless of the fact that it is snowing, I haven't slept in 26 hours and I think I have gone crazy I still have to work remotely from a discrete corner of my room as I rock back and forth, muttering to myself about god knows what... There is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm hitting up NYC this friday for a work visit [thank you so much Ruby] and I shall endeavor to get sane before I travel out there [Oh and bathe too, thats important] or I may try to climb the Statue of fucking Liberty... I've never been out there before, so if my attempts to get sane again do work, which, unfortunately, I do doubt, then everyone let me know where I should reach whilst I'm there... My head is going to explode.

No those glasses aren't mine before any one asks...

Just found this photo and it reminded me of how carefree and stressless my life used to be [no those glasses aren't mine before any one asks]. It is synonymous with a time where I lacked any forms of pressure: I didn't pay rent, I didn't have to work, I boned hot girls... I bullied kids at school, I fell in and out of love with consummate ease, 'cotched on road', didn't recycle, didn't give a fuck about my carbon footprint, ate junk food all day whenever wherever, had a trim every week, harassed teachers, drew funny pictures, read books, listened to grime, played playstation, watched TV, kicked a ball, got drunk for fun [never for necessity], went to parties, brawelled, threw strops, threw rocks, acted a cock, never listened, always answered back, had no discipline and literally didn't give a fuck... Best times of my childhood... Now I'm an adult/entering adulthood and I don't know if I'm ready yet. One thing is for sure: times have fucking changed... Word.

VALENTINES WEEKEND

you better all be about, i'm down for le weekend mes amis!
clear your diaries! its trading places on the sat and YOU BETTER BE THERE!xx

He makes me feel all gooey...

Why is it that I'm suddenly having homo erotic tendencies towards this man?